The horrors of birthday cards

My friend JJ gave me a birthday card yesterday. From the front it look like a normal card, with a self-drawn picture on the front (he drew the words MCFLY in bubble letters).

It's purple with pink, green and white words. It says: Recipe for a perfect birthday celebration: Friends + Food + MCFLY without a shirt on, just standing around looking pretty, (it said David Beckham under the taped over McFly word), anywayyy.

When you open it, it ROARS and start singing James Brown's I FEEL GOOD.

As a lover of blu-tac and the wonders it can do, I stuck all my cards from last night onto my wall before I went to bed. I put a little dab of blu-tac inside the cards so they won't flap open. The wind was pretty strong this morning I guess, it blew on JJ's card and flapped it open... since I went to bed at about 2am yesterday, I was sleeping soundly when the card flapped open. And as soon as it roared, I bounced up and almost fell off my bed, scared shitless.

I was all: WTFFF!!! WHO THE HELL PLAYS JAMES BROWN THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING? (It was actually about 11am)... Needless to say, my brother ran into my room and thought I went psycho... as an naive little child, he thought if you drink too much, you turn mental. Not really, he just wanted to know whether I was okay.

Anyway, that concludes it, my weird encounter with a singing card.


It's official. I did it.

I lost my clubbing cherry. Within four minutes of walking into the Met I had encountered two females making out, felt the thud thud of loud music pulsating through the room and noted the crowds lined up waiting for bags and IDs to be checked before entrance. It was meant to be scary, something I could never see myself doing, but, in the same way we get through each day it doesn't really matter how crazy the rest of the world is if you've your own comfortable circle of friends. It's surprising how easy it is to block out noise when you're sitting by a fish tank having cozy conversation in the dim light.

Yesterday was awesome, beginning with walks through South Bank dressed in Semi-Formal gear and ending with a ride home with some of my best friends.

Tiff, Happy Birthday. Thank you - for being you.

On a slightly random note, I realised last night that sometimes the things that make the most sense to you are the hardest to explain. While that's not an issue at all, it makes me glad that I can say I know where I came from - even if I'm still filling in the blanks. It just makes it everyone else's viewpoints very, very interesting.

Life's greatest question: Chicken or the Egg?

What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

Different people answers this question different ways, some people, like Danny Jones, just points at the camera and yell: THE EGG (McFly Interview).

Other would yell THE CHICKEN!

Chicken Run (2000) addressed this question as they closed the film:
“If you don't have a chicken, where are you going to get the egg?”
“From the chicken that comes from the egg.”
“Yeah, but you have to have an egg to have a chicken.”
“Yeah, but you've got to get the chicken first to get the egg, and then you get the egg... to get the chicken out of... ”
“Hang on, let's go over this again?”

You can see they failed to answer the question adequately.

It's one of those questions you eternally pounder on if you're uneducated or extremely religious (GOD CREATED CHICKENS, THEY CAME FROM NO EGGS! NO BELLYBUTTONS!).

An educated evolutionist (or a high school graduate who did biology) would tell you:
Chickens evolved from a tiny life form which then slowly adapted to life on land. Due to protection of the young... blah blah blah blah.

You get my point.

So this conclude my close examination of the chicken and the egg.

I shall now finish food and then get ready to go out!

Still poundering,

First Blog

So apparently I am supposed to contribute to this blog. I have nothing interesting to say currently, but I am bored out of my mind studying Math1051 so I thought I would write something. Janelle just logged onto msn I wonder if Math1051 is driving her nuts too.

I've noticed Mitch has a lot of time on his hands if he manages to carry out an experiment at work. I must say I don't have that sort of time at work. I'm not allowed to stop working. I'll tell you of my observations at work. There is this one couple, who come in one a week, guaranteed. *Note* Apparently Janelle hasn't started studying yet. Anyway back to work. So this couple come in, and the woman always orders a Margarita. No joke. Every single time. I pretty much don't need to ask them what they would like to drink. Except I can never remember what type of beer that man orders. I always reckon I could write a story about my time at work. Maybe some rules that customers should follow, ie. don't be rude to the waitress, we do have the ability to spit in your food o_O not that we would. I have never done that. I wouldn't even have to eat the food to be repulsed by the fact that there is spit in it.

There are some really dishonest people out there. I'm not sure if its just Ipswich people but seriously, there are. This one guy called up and basically claimed last time he had ordered takeaway, one of the Beef and Black Bean's had been cold. He had ordered two Beef & B/B. How the flip could ONE of them be cold when they are cooked at the exact same time in the same wok. He then asked for delivery because apparently we had delivered to him before so it wouldn't be any trouble for us to delivery again. He's an idiot - we have a GPS system which records all previous addresses entered. His wasn't in there. Tosser.

Have you ever just walked down the street and observed the people passing? I did this at uni the other day. This really short kid walked past, I reckon he looked about 10, but he gave the impression that he was supposed to be at uni. So either he was just really short and young looking, or he is frickin smart! Pretty sure Aggie just burped... Anyway, you then get the people at uni who are dressed in suits. We discussed this the other day and concluded that maybe they are businessman and have to go to work after uni. Or, and this is my conclusion, maybe they just want to feel above the rest of us delinquent children.

Well, Math1051 calls me. Not really. It bores me. Riverfire tonight. Maybe I should blog about that when I get home.

Tales From The Pool Boy

Here i sit on at least a 15 year old office chair which periodically lurches up and down due to a malfunctioning gas piston. I ponder about the inner workings of a pool, pumps, filter baskets, which product is the best for removing iron/copper stains and general sanitiser levels when it dawns on me. For year i have seen people scanning items in stores with one of those red barcode readers and on movies like "Employee Of The Month" i have seen that they behave as a laser and can scan items from long distances >20m. I feel it is my duty as a pool service man to find out the truth behind the scanning devices, and as such have devised an experiment.

The round bottle compared to the square bottle seemed to have little effect in the ability to scan the barcode in that the algaecide and Pool Perfect both failed to scan at 30cm. A greater impact seemed to be the roughness of the surface being scanned. The BP200 was packaged in a sachet and did not provide a smooth surface when scanned with the barcode reader. This appeared to have reduced the distance of positive scanning by approimately 5cm. The size of the barcode itself appeared to not have a an impact on positive scanning as the BP200 had the largest of all barcodes and was unable to scan the same distance as the other two products tested.

In comparision to the movie "Employee Of The Month" and the scene where the cash register employee is able to scan a barcode from approimately 20m this at first glace seems not likely. The barcode scanner used in the above experiment appeared to not behaved as a laser (monochromic, low divergence source of light) and more so a diverging source. As such increasing the distance attempted to be scanned from meant a reduction in the intensity of light hitting the barcode surface. Though even using a laser barcode reader would still possibly not yield improved performance. A barcode scanner, despite the name, actually reads the barcode. As such the light emitted from the scanner hits the barcode surface, the black line regions absord the light and the non black regions bounce the light back to the scanner where it is assumed, a sensor detects the light waves and determines from them the original scanned barcode. With an increase in distance the reflection angle would become more apparent and more likely than not the reflected light would not hit the sensor surface of the barcode reader. For increased performance as seen in the movie, major modifications would need to be completed in order to get 20m distances. A laser light source would need to be used in the barcode scanner. The sensor mehcanism would need to be improved to allow for a greater area for reflected light to be gathered and finally the barcode would need to be placed get best scanability, directly infront. It is unlikely a common business would use a device with such modifications and the cashier in the movie is a lying bastard scanning an item with an ankle mounted scanner below the counter while appearing to be scanning the real item at a distance.

Please if you have any information regarding this topic, the scanners used in your store or general engineering knowledge of barcode readers post back :P

Bus conversations are amusing.

Sometimes it's nice thinking that, in this crazy world, it's okay to be crazy. Although some people exploit that a little too much, like these bogan school kids having 'philosophical' discussions about good, evil and Harry Potter.

Kid 1: "Yeah, they spread rumours about her being dog ugly."
Kid 2: "How do you spread rumours about someone being ugly? Like, if they're not?

I sat there in the fourth row from the back, trying hard not to crack up. Two minutes later I overheard a girl in red speaking on the phone two rows ahead of me and to the left. She was waving her hands around excitedly, really getting into the conversation.

"I know! It's amazing!" she said. "I've been trying to be more organised!"

She spoke of her attempts and successes for a minute or two, and I tuned out. Five minutes later she was at it again.

"Wait. This is on the SIXTH?" Uh-oh.

Her chirpy 'OMG! Lyk!' voice changed tone instantly.

"SHIT!" she said. "I have a wedding! I'm a BRIDESMAID! I thought it was the first!"

Soon after that, the kids in the back were continuing their deep and meaningful on life, love and sexuality.

Kid1: "So you were joking about asking her out, and now you're going out? But you don't even like her! That's sad!"
Kid2: "I couldn't decide!"

For a while I was under the impression Kid1 had at least a little bit of sense. Anyway, in the next part of their discussion I realised there was a girl sitting quietly with them, occasionally joining in. This is where Harry Potter makes his appearance and, somehow, at least in their minds, becomes mildly pornographic (because rumours, dating, Harry Potter - it's all logical conversation here).

Kid1: "Dumbledore dies in that one, hey? No, he can't, he dies in the Deathly Hollows."
Kid2: "I don't know. I don't really read them. I read the last page."
Kid3: "Yeah, everyone only reads the last page."
Kid2: "Yeah. Harry Potter has sex with a student. That's sad! Who sleeps with his best mate's sister?"
Kid1: "How do you know that?"
Kid2: "Because they had kids!"

Just when I thought it couldn't get more ridiculous, and that maybe Kid1 was at least more sane than Kid2, I was greatly disappointed. I'd began drifting off when conversation peaked once again. This time, it was about their theories of good and evil, and that you can't have good without evil because lions eat deer and cows eat grass and trees eat apple juice -- or something equally ridiculous about 'the chain of life'.

Kid1: "Spirits, they can't hurt you. They can only scare the fucking shit out of you!"
Kid2: "They can't hurt you unless you let them!"

Sigh. Thirteen year olds make me laugh.

How logical.

I lost my password for one of my old Hotmail accounts. I couldn't remember the answer to my Secret Question and was given a second option.

The address scribbled out in blue was of the account I'd forgotten the password for.

I'm going to hope that's only because I didn't provide an alternative address.

I like being talked about.

(10:41 PM) Janelle. The pe: it's like when maree used to say she like...
(10:41 PM) Janelle. The pe: imagined what would happen
(10:42 PM) Janelle. The pe: if on the day of graduation
(10:42 PM) Janelle. The pe: she was so excited, ran about throwing her hat in the air
(10:42 PM) Janelle. The pe: and ended up running into the road and being squashed flat, still in uniform.
(10:42 PM) Janelle. The pe: because yeah the hat would fly down Chester Rd and she'd chase after it and go SPLAT.
(10:42 PM) Janelle. The pe: that wuld be ironic.
(10:42 PM) `wiғғiɴe: HAHAHA


(10:43 PM) `wiғғiɴe: you should have said
(10:43 PM) `wiғғiɴe: because yeah the hat would fly down Chester Rd and she'd chase after it and go SPRATT.

A Human Approach to Engineering.

As seen in my Physics and Engineering of Materials lecture slides.

I think my brother just found the real-life embodiment of Mr Eggman there. A container of Parmesan Cheese.

It's all a game of Peek-a-Boo

Port Hedland was a backwards town.

I found my bus stop of four years on Google Street View today, and the coincidences never fail to amaze me. Band Camp from Port Hedland to Perth started on the 18th of August 2004. It's been four years and tonight 4 Corners screened The Money Pit - "the hidden, human costs of the minerals boom." My dad worked for Boodarie Iron when it closed in '04 and it spoke of pressing issues that don't come to mind when you think "Port Hedland". I've always said something was up with the education system, bored kids, employment and way of life - but it's not something most people can relate to.

Maybe the odd person will recognise it as the place with all the cyclones (where the inhabitants actually, generally, don't care that much - even when the local high school's roof tore off my friends told me how they 'slept through it'), but most won't know much more than "it's a mining town." No one I know goes there for holidays.

That bus stop was painted and flipped around as an attempt to shield bus riders from the sun -- especially during the summer when temperatures soared (it got to 51 degrees once) -- and hide the graffiti. Over a period of just three weeks the writing returned with common slogans and your typical 'david waz 'ere 03' in the coloured circles. It looked neater and confined, but look closer at the rusty frame and you can't escape it.

Kids used to hide behind it and that would be there excuse for wagging.

"I missed the bus."

I think they did.

Images © Google Street View.
Four Corners - The Money Pit (ABC Website and 4 Corners Website)
Through careful observation i have noticed that the parents of only children seem to be more careful, (protective) of their offspring than parents with two or more. Now this makes sense from a evolutionary perspective (common sense), but if you stop to think about it you realise just how terible that is!

Hanging out at Borders

It amuses me what kind of things I find in the non-fiction area.

Old friends are the best...

...because you can say plenty of mean and inflammatory things to one another without the fear of repercussions.

Peter: I like your cardigan.
Maree: my Mum made it.
Peter: It looks so professional. I bet she made your jeans and your Converse as well.
Maree: Yeah! she made everything. She even made me.
Maylene: How come you're not as good quality as everything else?

It's good having someone there to cut you down.

This guy is the coolest.

Plunger Dad to the rescue, vanquishing the most evil and prevalent of foes: boredom begone! Complete with powers of invisibility. Kids, don't try this at home!

(Maree, please edit this. I cannot do it justice. It is awesome. Also: I HOLD YOU FULLY RESPONSIBLE!)

Socy student vs. Scene kids

Before you go any further, read this.

Now, as a sociology student and self-proclaimed fashionista (ha), I found an alarmingly high number of faults with the article.

Lets start with the lite

“We hate Supre and Jay Jays because it's all mass-produced stuff, because everyone ends up with the same stuff, which is pretty lame." The girl on the right is wearing a shirt from Jay Jays, I remember because I myself have a skele-animal (featured on her shirt), for my birthday last year, and on the same day, Toni dear bought a skele-animal shirt (similar to the one the girl's wearing)... both from Jay Jays.

"She spends $50 a week on clothes" Wow 50 dollars is a lot. Before I locked my account, I usually spend 100 bucks a week on clothes and shoes, my dress for my birthday alone cost me $130.. wow $50 is a lot.

"It takes them two hours to get ready for a day at the shopping centre or skate park." I don't get it, teasing hair takes 5 minutes max, makeup... 10 minutes? Putting on clothes and finding a fugly tiara... umm... I say 3. That sure adds up to 2 hours

Now onto the sociology aspects of this riduculous article (WHICH WAS PUBLISHED IN THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD NO LESS, If they publish shit like that, I think I should be the person who write all the front page stories).

Back to the "We hate Supre and Jay Jays because it's all mass-produced stuff, because everyone ends up with the same stuff, which is pretty lame." quote, mass-produced, as Jelly pointed out, everything now is mass produced, hair, skin cells, everything. Unless you make your own clothes, everything will be mass produced (or if you spend about 1000 bucks on a unique shirt by some designer... but hold on, they can only afford to spend 50 dollars a week!). Not even making your own clothes now I think about it, fabic is mass-produced as well!

" People just wanted to "look different"", oh okay... I'm sorry but it's impossible to look different. Identity is also mass produced. I'm gonna quote back on my socy assignment from last sem:

How individualised a person can be is limited by what they can consume, some of these restrictions that limits the consumer are such as what is available on the market, the consumer’s financial status, and what a society considers as acceptable – the social norm.

-Skip Skip-

While there seem to be many choices on the market that the consumer can choose from, through a critical view, real choices regarding consumer objects are actually quite limited. In examples given by David Pearson (1993), while there seem to be many different car companies from which the consumer can choose when buying an automobile, the consumer will immediately think of buying a car. This is because of what is available on the market and what the society deems to be appropriate for the city’s roads. The way today’s society is constructed, it is expected that what the consumer buy can be accepted by social norms, such as what kind of automobile a person drives, what that person wears and what kind of estate the person lives in.

It can also be argued that media teaches people how to present themselves in society (Marjoribanks 2007). Social norms are often set by what is presented in the media through TV programs and movies. Such examples are the desirable fashion trends and the stylish-yet-environmental cars celebrities own. Interestingly what is considered desirable is often costly, and in a Marxist point of view, media is encouraging people to commodify themselves, and hence increasing the incomes for the companies which produce these desirable goods.

Media is often considered to be a site where identity construction occurs because it is the centre of a person’s life, both socially and individually (Marjoribanks 2007). Media provides a portrayal of what is the social norm for relationships between people through TV dramas like The O.C. and Dawson’s Creek because these shows mainly focus on the relationships between characters and their emotional experiences (Marjoribanks 2007). Not only the consumer’s identity is shaped by what they consume, their relationship and what they perceive as a society’s social norms are shaped by what a person consume

And to bring it back home to the original point:

Granted there are changes in class identity and local culture, the fact that what one can afford still underpin how much freedom one has in creating their identity. The social group to which a person belongs can also determine what the identity a person creates through his/her consumption. For example, if a person’s peers are part of the punk-rock music scene, the clothing choices, hairstyles and attitude is likely to reflect on what it is acceptable in that particular sub-culture. Having said that, it can be concluded that while people have the freedom to choose their identity through what they consume, it’s what is available for a person to consume on the market and what is deemed appropriate for a consumer to consume that restrict how individualised a person can be.

I don't know if any of that made any sense, but what I'm trying to say is... People who label themselves are retards who need to take sociology and become wise like me... HAA no. I'm saying Scenes, Emos, Goths, Preps, Skaters, Cyber-punks, whatever, they're all labels, and labels are for soup cans. They all say they want to be their own person, but how can they when we live in a society like ours? We're in post-modern, where globalisation made us all into clones.

And with that, I will now go change for work


Haha, Tiffany.

Tiff: "Feel my hair, I have hair spray in it! It's rock hard!"
Jas: "It feels like a broom stick!"
We're so mean to poor Tiff, but gosh that was hilarious.

Sigh. Life's pretty straight without Twisties.

Clicky Pencil

Today in my psyc1040 tutorial, we were put into groups to discuss research methods, their pros and cons and in what kind of research can they be used. We were told to discuss 'repeat measures'. Not to bore you with the nitty gritties, I'll just get to the point of this post.

'Clicky pencils'

We railed off track as we were discussing, for some reason, we started talking about pen licences. I and a few others admitted shamefully that we never obtained our pen licence in primary school, and as the result, we all written in pencils while we were discussing the research methods. Libbie was talking about how she can't stand pacers and had to use pencils, the guy next to me (can't remember his name), went: What's a pacer? As college students, we were stunned that he did not know what a pacer is in spite the fact that he is holding one.

I then went, "you know, mechanical pencils? You're holding one", he looked at his hand and said, "OH YOU MEAN CLICKY PENCILS!" and our entire group just cracked up laughing. 'Clicky pencils' I kid you not.

Just to amuse you, this is how he held his 'clicky pencil'

Another thing I'd like to blog about is how amusing toliet door conversations are:

This was taken in the UQ union toliet block.

And finally, this picture is of 'sushi pillows', I found the flyer in the psychology building lounge. I was sitting there and it was on the notice board behind my head:


P.S. I really like my phone camera.

I want this pigeon's autograph.

This is my roof. The novelty eagle on a stick, visible to the left of the screen, is some cheap crap that my Dad bought off ebay. It's supposed to scare away birds. Clearly it doesn't work, since this pigeon has turned the roof into its playground. (not quite the same thing i kow.......) If your feeling cheap....or creative. Aparently its a really big thing. Even more history Another store. (just incase you wanted to puchase a sok monkey, and the second link dident have enough) (these ones are also cheaper) (if you are in the us) (us = america)

heres a picture of some food i made one time.
>Wow, it works. Now ive lost my blogging cherry>

How to draw a Saddle -- 1052 style

And that is a graphical representation of z = x^2 - y^2. Note the hyperbolic contours.

My maths lecturer is awesome.

A Dim View of Seven.

  1. I haven't properly showered since Wednesdays last week. Whether or not I have a shower seems to be completely up to chance. Will my friend's be renovating their bathrooms too or will I simply continue to be stubborn and sit it out with the jumbo pack of Wet-Wipes? Either way, people have been noticing a certain odour. It will always be fixed tomorrow.
  2. Hello.
  3. Study has been going well. We don't hang out as much anymore but I'm planning a good catch up session very soon. Right after my first hot shower.
  4. Of late, I've begun to feel that my bag, lovingly given and begrudgingly used, has more personality than I do.

It's funny because it's not a joke

I have been collecting free postcards for a while now. Yesterday I stumbled across the best one yet...

Check out the photo on the left. Have you ever seen anyone try so hard to look light hearted in your life?

Damn whoever-you-ares!

Less than two minutes ago my phone started ringing and some fast-paced recorded female voice informed me that I had become a trial member of telephone trivia thing. It didn't even state which company it came from, which I thought was stupid and maybe even a violation of some Act (especially as I hadn't subscribed to anything). I listened to the voice babble on for a bit, telling me I would enjoy my experience, and it then proceeded to ask me the first question:

Who is Australia's current Prime Minister?

Press 1 for John Howard, or

Press 2 for Kevin Rudd.

I laughed and hung up. Not because the answer was blindingly obvious, but because, by definition, 'Trivia" is a noun referring to "matters or things that are very unimportant, inconsequential, or nonessential; trifles; trivialities" ( 2008).

I can't tell if the phone call was a subtle form of propaganda, or if the company was just really, really stupid.

Either way, I just don't have the time. I'm slowly getting better and refuse to use being sick as an excuse for laziness.

Edit: Lol, go Google.

Seems like a recent phenomenon.

A story in photos

Ok this is a trick story, there isn't a story I just wanted to 'express my self through photos' Like I am some middle class hippie scum, with an art/photography side.

Some people say that bringing up old wounds helps them to heal.
This is a common sight where this photo was taken.
In case you can't read the fine print it says "adding about 270g, in fact. So reading this brochure won't help show Brisbane you care. ..."

The most likely
story is that I just felt like uploading some photos from my iPhone, lets not get carried away with the details.